I Just Want To Sell Out My Funeral
by Monroe Happens
Summary: "You have to be crazy because your Dad is. I have to be Jesus because my Dad thinks he is and acts like he is."
1. Things Start Sorta

_These are things I own out right: My rabbit, my video games, computer and self. Thus concludes the list of things I own._

* * *

Two titans engaged in glorious battle! Swift kick to the chest, a dodge here and using that oh, so precious momentum against your opponent that lands them on their back.

Good footing is hard to find sometimes, but a cheap kick to the groin will save your life. Pride be damned.

"Oh no, my arachnads!" Spider-Man held himself and danced backwards. Raven lifted herself up slightly.

"I call shenanigans."

The magic and illusion subsided. Two best friends paused their verses game. Ellie pulled back her hood and frowned at her friend.

"What?" Hope pulled off her Spider-Man ask.

"Spider-Man would never say, "arachnads." That's beneath him. He'd "meep" or something."

"He also would never fight Raven from the DCU." Hope shrugged.

"This game is supposed to have some base of reality. There is no evidence of character he would say that."

"Okay. Meep." Hope grabs herself and falls to her knees. Her friend remained unimpressed and pulled herself up and started to rearrange their office to once again look like a place of business.

At that moment as it happens, a potential client bursts through the door dressed like a discount casual Tuesday Santa. Hope puts on serious face.

"What is it? Comic Con?" Discount Santa laughter was biting. Hope felt like her ear holes were being violated by his vocal vibrations. Ellie simply covered her ears and searched for earphones.

"It's July, Sunshine." Hope countered, not hiding her disgust.

"And?"

Hope looked at him pointedly.

"Ah, Baby this is all year round. My niche is very -"

"Are you here for a bounty or?" Ellie had the soothing personally.

She could charm anyone. Her voice was like smooth jazz and satin. Typically, if she wanted something, she got it, but she was inhumanly nice to the point it was almost insufferable.. She only used her powers for good.

Hope's natural flare for sarcasm and having the dark past, I brood thing, helped balance her friend. They played off of each other well.

"I am in desperate need of aid to retrieve some precious stolen property." Discount Santa reached out and picked up a picture frame.

"Hey, I know that guy."

Hope grabbed it and handed it off to Ellie.

"What kind of property?"

Discount Santa clapped his hands together and whistled.

"I am a professional with my hands in many pots. One of my more . . nichey exploits."

"English." Hope resisted the pinch the bridge of nose move she inherited from her father.

"I make movies. Special sexy movies."

"Porn." Ellie frowned. She hated porn. It made her sad.

"And sometimes with clients."

"You're a Christmas themed prostitute who makes porn on the side." Hope pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Prostitution is illegal in the state of New York." Ellie looked to her friend, who shrugged. Ellie shook her head.

"It's illegal." Ellie repeated.

"Ellie."

"Hope."

"Really?"

"Yes."

The stare down of 2026

"I'll cover your half of rent this month."

"Apartment or office."

"Both."

Ellie bit her bottom lip and considered this. She held out her hand. Guns were expensive.

"Deal."

"Can we get back to me please?"

"What's the job, Bob?"

" Don't rhyme. Don't need that. The job is this: get the tape that was stolen. Wifey doesn't know this shit about me and if she finds out, I lose her. And her money."

"How'd you know the wife will find out?"

"Got these."

He hands them a few letters, crumpled.

"Is this real?" Hope scoffed as she handed them for Ellie to look at.

It was stereotypical letters cut from magazine pieced together to form a vaguely threatening threat. Ellie would have laughed if it wasn't real. She so wanted to, but her professionalism demanded serious seriously cereal demeanor.

"Someone stole the latest piece of . . work and will show if off to the wife who has the strictest of morals, clearly." Hope said from over the shoulder.

"Find who has it, get it back. Simple enough." Ellie nodded.

"Here's a list of my clients. Some of them are more likely to stab me back in the back-"

Ellie waved her hand, silencing him.

"No sex puns."

"You're Santa. It's just weird." Hope added.

After a discussion of rates, Discount Santa left. The two friends stared at his empty space.

"Do you want to watch _Rudolph_?"

"Oh, god, _yes_." Hope searched for the film in question.

"All I could think about."

After a marathon of classic holiday themed films the two set off after their first lead. One of the clients frequented a club. A kinky club.

"Dad asked me if I wanted to have dinner with him tonight, told him I was helping out on a community project." Ellie hip bumped Hope from the full length mirror.

"After what sounded like him vomiting, we arranged for lunch tomorrow. If he founds out where we're actually going."

Ellie shudders.

"Told mine I was on a job. He doesn't ask details. He gets it."

"Do I look 12?"

Ellie had her hair in braids. A short skirt and a black midriff top. The white boots almost went up to the throat.

"Somewhere, a pervert is waiting for you with his mouth and fly open."

Hope was rocking a battle suit she swiped from Domino. She had it unzipped enough in the front.

"We got this."

The club itself was disgusting. Ellie and Hope both felt as if they needed an acid wash once they were done. The foam party started in ten minutes. The prostitots were not shy nor were their pursuers and both girls had to fight their urge to castrate every male who held interest.

"Hope." Ellie grabbed her friend's arm. Her voice, horror. Hope's protective mode: activated. She pulled her friend closer and glared as she scanned the room for the threat.

"Is that?" Ellie pointed to someone in the corner.

"I think it is."

"But he's an Avenger!"

"If Blackmail was our game."

"It's not."

"There's our target."

Hope nodded at a figure sitting at the bar.

Both girls walked towards target, only to be blocked. Someone grabbed Ellie from behind, literally.

She jumped and squealed in surprise. A second later, she grabbed the hand, twisted it, spurn them around and threw them to the ground in front of her. She pressed the ball of her foot against their throat.

Hope was pushed forward as her jackwad was was the walk and grab type. Hope was able to break their hold, but a lucky shove, which connected against the edge of table, knocked the wind out of her.

Another lucky hit to her face. The gentleman made a mistake as he got close to her face and she landed a well deserved Glasgow Kiss.

Needless to say they ran away with tails between their legs.

"You good?"

Hope nodded.

"Boys." Both girls rolled their eyes in disgust.

"If they only knew who our fathers were."

"We'd never have the fun of kicking their teeth in."

Area clear they both sat at the bar, opposite sides of their target.

"Star in any Christmas related porns lately?" Hope asked.

He got up from the stool and tried to bolt. Ellie and Hope casually held him in place.

"I didn't star in it!"

"Wait. I know you."

Ellie pulled him closer and lifted his hat. Blood left her face.

"Mr. Bob?"

"Oh my god."

Hope slammed her head against the counter.

"But the name on the list?"

Hope slammed her head again.

"I can explain!"

"Go on." Ellie encouraged sweetly. He leaned in towards her.

"You're very pretty."

"Mr. Bob, it's me Ellie."

His nose touched hers. She leaned backwards so far, she had to hop off the stool. He fell onto her and she pushed him onto the ground after he tipped the balance. Hope poured a shot on him, while rolling her eyes.

"So, you didn't star in the film?" Ellie debated whether or not to help him up.

"I'm telling Deadpool you tried to mack on his daughter." Hope glared down at him.

"What? NO!" He waved his hands, like he was trying to fly away.

He started to panic. Ellie frowned. This was not going to help.

"Talk." Hope ordered another shot.

"They cut my pay in half at Hydra. Budget cuts. Something about the health care being too expensive. I blame Canada."

"I'm literally texting him." Hope shook her phone.

"" _Uncle Deadpool, this total creep just tried to force his tongue down Ellie's throat He kind of looks like that Hydra Bob guy."_

" _Hope."_

" So I found a side gig helping people making what I thought were holiday movies for kids! I thought, well this is nice, Santa making something for kids."

"Mr. Bob our client says he was making-"

"And then I thought why he is doing that! That's not my Santa!"

"And?"

"I wanted out! It was unclean!"

"Aren't you in a Nazi Death Cult that wants to take over the world and kill all the superheroes?" Hope arched a brow.

"Santa is pure! They have no right!"

"Mr. Bob, did you leave then?" Ellie decided to help him to his feet in the end.

"Yes!"

"Do you know anyone who would used this, uh, piece of-"

"Don't you dare say art."

"Work against the Santa in question? Was he hard to work with?"

"He may not have been the Santa I was familiar with, but I can't imagine why anyone would want to hurt him." Bob frowned.

The two friends exchanged awkward glances.

"You believe in Santa." Hope did not know how to respond to that.

"Don't you?"

Ellie had no words.

"Aren't you-? You're old!" Hope cried out.

"Anyway, can you tell us anything else? Our client is concerned about this film getting out into the wrong hands."

"The Martial hands."

"The guy that was, uh, _with_ Santa. They were fighting. A lot. I think they hated each other. Anyway, he bragged about these other, um, films he made. I guess if anyone was going to, you know, Santa. It would be him."

"What kind of films?"

The two girls found themselves at the studio and immediately regretted it.

"Oh god."

Ellie was speechless.

It was a studio. Dedicated to pornography based off of her father. She wanted to die.

She nodded. She tried not to pass out from shame and shock.

"That text sent! Damnit! Oh, well."

Hope finally absorbed her surroundings.

"Oh."

"Uh huh."

"Um."

"Yup."

Ellie wanted to cry.

"Please tell me my father isn't a thing."

Hope crossed her fingers.

Ellie shoulder bumped her and pointed to something.

"Oh, for the love of!"

There was a poster for a series of films under the named, "Cabelpool,"

"This is Hell."

"Sometimes, I really, really hate my father's fans."

Ellie covered her face with her hands.

"Fans, hell, he gets off of this."

"I know."

"If you close your eyes, this isn't real."

Both girls, eyes half closed their eyes and walked to their next point.

"I have no interest if that film gets out or not. I got my own thing going."

"Please stop this." Ellie pleaded.

"I like your make. Have you ever considered acting?" He handed her a card.

"This can't be my life." She tried not to cry.

"Who would benefit from screwing over that Santa guy?"

"The camera guy. Wasn't paid. Pissed him off."

"And we can find him where?"

The camera guy's address took the heroes to an old abandoned shoe factory.

"If it looks like a trap." Hope pinched the bridge of her nose and started to pace.

"I don't get it."

Clap. Clap. Clap.

The lights turned on and the girls look all around.

"The daughters of my two greatest enemies have found my lair!"

"Where are you?" Hope looked around, spinning. It gave her a headache. She could hear but not see. She did not like that.

"Squirrel Girl?"

"No, for it is I"

Hope and Ellie exchanged glances.

A figure appeared, a spotlight turned on behind him. The light blocked out his physical appearance. He appeared as all but a shadow despite the blinding light.

"Bask in this glow and fear your inevitable end and defeat."

"What's happening?" Hope was beyond confused.

"Who?" Ellie made a mental list of her father's enemies. It was a long list.

"ME."

He remained but a shadow.

"I'm going to assume you indirectly hired us, masterminded everything for us to get to this point, which means we're not getting paid, so we're out." Hope and Ellie started to leave.

"You shall die for dare mocking me!"

"We did not mock-"

Ellie stopped short of speaking. Something entered her neck .A needle. Hope grabbed at something too.

Her vision began to become disoriented, melty, hazy. Black and white, devoid of color. Her body was so heavy.

She fell.

Hope was seeing red. Not only was some dink pulling her in directions and NOT paying her for her pain and hard work, but was now poisoning her and her bestie.

She was pissed.

You did NOT piss of a Summers. You did NOT attack their best friend either.

Hope pulled out the needle, snapped it and glared at the idiot.

"This is happening." Her voice rough and gruff.

Game face on.

"How?!"

"Didn't you hear?"

She stalked towards him.

" _I'm just like my father._ "

Ellie in the meantime rolled onto her back.

This is not her end.

She would not lay down and die.

It was against her code.

Her DNA.

Gun.

Gun.

Ellie's hand was so heavy. Bricks. Cement. Lift hand. Find weapon.

The upper hand is easy enough for Lady Jesus, but fighting dirty is too.

So much blood. Hope didn't remember, when. How.

So much.

Pain.

Blood.

Ellie!

Dad!

I'm sorry.

BANG.

Ellie, laying on her side, finally managed to find and ready her weapon.

Hope lowered herself to the floor.

It was nice and cool.

Safe.

She closed her eyes.

Hope was a lot like father.

Ellie was too.

She crawled towards her fallen friend. She wrapped her arms around her friend's waist and pulled both of them. Unto their feet.

Both girls were stubborn as all get out.

They would see this to the end.

" _I don't have a lot of friends." Young Ellie said. She stopped swinging. Preston was watching them from the window._

" _I don't either." Hope said._

" _They think I should be crazy. They ask me weird questions." Ellie crinkled her nose._

" _You_ _ **have**_ _to be crazy because your Dad is. I_ _ **have**_ _to be Jesus because my Dad thinks he is and acts like he is."_

" _I_ _ **don't**_ _want to be crazy. I don't hear voices and I don't think I live in a comic book."_

" _I_ _ **don't**_ _want to_ _ **die**_ _for a cause, because."_

 _They sat and swung in silence._

" _Will I be alone forever?"_

 _Ellie looked so old then. Way beyond her years. Hope understood. She was born to die for humanity according to everyone. She was the new Lady Jesus. The Mutant Messiah. Her destiny was to die._

" _No."_

 _Hope leaned over slightly and reached for Ellie's hand._

" _Never alone."_

 _Hope squeezed her hand._

" _We're_ _ **sisters**_ _."_

 _Ellie squeezed back._

" _Even Death can't separate us."_

 _Hope smiled and leaned in._

" _You're stuck with me, kiddo."_

Ellie lost track of the time, the blocks, and miles. She couldn't hear and didn't hear the people who screamed, gasped and tried to reach out to her.

Ellie was covered in blood, not hers. Hope was limp now. She had to carry her in her arms. Hope was taller. What a sight, these two must be!

Ellie was determined.

She had a goal.

Mission.

Ellie held her friend closer as she became more aware of others. They tried to take Hope. Ellie did not let them. They would not have her.

Destination found.

She couldn't make out the words or sounds. Hope was taken from her arms.

Ellie sighed in relief.

Safe.

Ellie finally found release.

She let go.

 _Ellie found Hope in the field. She often came here to think when things got bad or too weird with the X Force or just life in general._

 _Hope hugged her knees and rested her chin against them. Ellie made no sound as she sat next to her older sister/best friend and rested her head on her shoulder. She slipped her hand together with hers and squeezed._

 _"I'm an idiot." Hope shut her eyes tightly and fought against the tears. They pulsated her eyes and burned hot liquid fire._

 _Ellie said nothing. She simply lifted her head up, indicating she would listen, even though Hope couldn't see her._

 _"I went to the future. I met myself. I never wanted to hit something-someone, so much."_

 _With her other hand, Hope dug into the earth._

 _"I'm killing my father, Ells."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Everything he's going through is because of me. Because I'm this stupid little girl. She hijacked his brain, flooded it with visions, so he would want to save the world with me. But he doesn't. I have to go after him. I'm killing him because he won't play with me!"_

 _Hope opened her eyes and looked to her friend._

 _"Who does that?I must be the god of attention whores, bow before your lord and master!" She waved her free hand dramatically_

 _"He's an idiot for pushing you away. He's an omega telepath. He should know you would do anything to be by his side."_

 _Ellie squeezed her hand again._

 _"Also, you're not the god of attention whores. My Dad is. He would fight you for that title."_

 _Hope laughed lightly._

 _"He would."_

 _"I know he would."_

 _The two sat in silence for a moment._

 _"How'd you know where I was?" Hope finally asked. Ellie shrugged._

 _"I just knew. Must be a best friend thing. I knew you needed me."_

 _"You Wilson's always coming to save your Summers's pet."_

 _"It goes both ways."_

 _"Always."_

"What do you mean, she's not covered by my insurance? I am her legal guardian!"

Ellie felt like she just jumped back into her body. She life like she was in this white space. Blindingly so. That voice. It was like she was being pulled towards it.

"Oh, so she's not a child-listen here. I said listen! That's not how this works! There is no wording that says that since I am not a blood relative that-oh you want to bring blood in this? Fine. Let's do that. Take it as how you like!"

That voice.

Ellie turned her head to the side.

"People are idiots."

A gentle hand caressed her cheek. Ellie grabbed it fondly. She opened her eyes. Preston half smiled and frowned at her.

"You scared me half to death!" Preston leaned over and hugged her head.

"Is my Dad here?"

"Sweetie, it's best I tell him after you're released. Don't want an incident."

This was true. There was no telling what he'd do if he found out she was ill/had been dying. It was for the best he found out as a casual aside years later. At some random family gathering.

"Ellie, remember that time we almost died!" Hope would laugh shout, wine in hand. Ellie would nod and laugh.

Really the only and best way to mention it.

"How's Hope?"

"Good. She's awake now."

Ellie jumped out of bed and ran out of the room.

It didn't take long to find Hope's room.

"But I'm not dead. I'm **Jesus** , like **you**. Remember? It's our **thing**."

" You really are my daughter."

"That's what they tell me."

Ellie entered the room. Nate, clutching the bridge of his nose and Hope looking smug.

"Uncle Nate." Ellie smiled. He waved, not looking.

"Ells."

"She's not dead because, I'm awesome." Her uncle Nate was the only person Ellie would show off to. There was something about his approval and attention.

" _You're in love my father." Hope had said one evening out of the blue._

 _"What? No. " Ellie couldn't look her in the face. Hope giggled._

 _"You so are! You're blushing!"_

 _"Am not."_

 _"The facts are these: you only date older men,"_

 _"The men of my age are idiots who lack ambition and purpose."_

 _"You list a strong mental fortitude as a must on your dating profiles."_

 _"They have to have one if they want to be around my parents and Vampira."_

 _"Your last three boyfriends were named, Nathaniel, Athan, Nate, respectively."_

 _"That means nothing."_

Ellie shook her head of the memory.

"You have my eternal thanks."

Ellie beamed. Nate's approval: Priceless.

It was three days before both girls were released from the private hospital of a secret location. They had a guest waiting for them at their office.

Discount Santa.

Ellie and Hope looked to each other and nodded.

Both reached out and punched a side of his face.

It felt good.

"I can tell you who set you up! He said through a broken face.

"Well?"

Not so far across town. . . .

"Gwen, you're cheating." Cecil sighed and wasn't sure why he even bothered. Gwen was a master at video games.

"Ah, I do not!"

"I'm a ghost hacker and you're beating me."

"You suck at video games."

Knock, knock, knock come hither, goes the door. Gwen paused the game, went to the door.

Her bright eyes went wide. Her mouth formed an "O"

She slammed the door shut and locked it.

Didn't do much.

The door shook violently before being thrown off the hinges.

"Cry havoc!" Gwen ran.

"Huh"

"RUN."

This was going to hurt.

Not twenty minutes later our two fantastic protagonists entered the scene: Gwen's apartment. The door being now inside the apartment was their first hint something was not quite right.

"Eh. I guess she's just the most popular kid in town."Hope tapped the broken door with her foot.

"If someone's after her."

"I'm so lost."

"Find Gwenpool, find answers?"

"Guess so."

The search begins.


	2. Family Matters

_This song is kind of where my mind is for this story. So. . ._

watch?v=nmCgobi_boY

 _in a **loose** way, I suppose. What do I own? things in my apartment_.

* * *

The Summers family dinners were very intense and quiet. Intense because of the tension and quiet because of the lack of courage on anyone's part to take that first step towards connecting, speaking and that olive branch.

Ellie was usually invited as the emotional support for Hope, because Hope was the only one who actually ended up talking before running off to cry in a dark corner quietly.

Hope wanted a family.

No.

She wanted the Hallmark/Lifetime Movie Network holiday special family. The family that made those terrible Christmas cards and wore those damn sweaters like a badge of honor.

She wanted Thanksgiving and family vacations.

That family did not exist and it destroyed her. The poor girl grew up in a wasteland, constantly on the run from someone who very much wanted her dead since birth.

Now that she was able to actually live, breathe, and walk in the sun, she wanted wanted a family unit. Craved it. Hungered for it. She got the Dad, the Little Sister, The Cool Uncle/Mommy Sometimes? (she was always confused by that one) And now she needed "Grandma" and Grandpa to play. A new Mommy would be welcomed, but that was for another time.

Let's digress.

It was Thursday. Family dinner was always on Thursday. Always as in, for the last two years.

Tonight Hope was hosting.

She had been in the kitchen all day. A box and a half of wine later, she was in the bathtub, wearing her best dress, crying and biting a towel, so the neighbors didn't hear. They had thin walls.

Ellie sat by her side holding her hands.

"The food smells great. If no one talks this time, it'll be because they're too busy eating." She half smiled and squeezed her friend's hands.

"I'm pathetic."

Ellie frowned. She sighed and then climbed in and settled next to her. Hope rested her head against her.

"We'll travel the stars, go to bars and have breakfast on Pluto." Ellie sang softly.

"Please save this for me."

"I _t just takes some time, little girl. You're in the middle of the ride. Everything. Everything will be alright_." Ellie sang, certain words had more emphasis

"I _s this what it feels like with my wings clipped? I'm awkward and nervous_." Hope countered.

" _All I want is to see you smile, If it takes just a little while."_

Ellie played with Hope's hand.

Hmm. She would not give up yet.

" _I know how it feels to be at war with a world that never loved me_." Hope lamented.

No.

Hm.

Old favorites.

"If I die and go to hell, _real_ soon,"

This would work. Had to.

Hope could never let this bit go.

She looked over, trying to fight it, but failing.

"Would it appear to you as _this_ room?" She used her free hand to motion around.

"I called Domino on the phone and she touched herself."

"Wolverine laughed himself to sleep."

Both girls giggled. This song game always pulled them through life.

Hope adjusted herself to her back and looked up.

"I don't know how people do it."

"Have dinners with intense family?"

"No, bathtub sex. I don't get how or why."

She sat up and did Ellie.

"I don't know?"

"It can't be comfortable." Hope got up.

"Maybe it's a straddle thing?" Ellie made strange rocking motions, forward and back.

"Maybe."

Hope fixed her face, took a deep breath and was able to compose and maintain. Ellie squeezed her shoulder before leaving the bathroom. Guests were arriving.

It started off with promise. Scott and Emma greeted Ellie, Hope and Nathan. Hope felt her heart swell up with glee and led them to the dining room/kitchen for pre dinner drinks.

Then it began. The silence. The let's all sit, stare and glare.

"Emma, did you hear we got poisoned by a weirdo?"

Emma turned to acknowledge her.

"I did."

"They said they were the greatest enemy of my Dad and Uncle Nate."

Scott looked at Nate, who shrugged. Hope watched closely, praying for them to verbalize.

They did not.

"And who is that?" She asked. She seemed to be the only one trying now. Hope resisted the urge to hide

"We still don't know."

"An intriguing mystery I'm sure you'll solve."

"How is Kitty? Does she keep in touch?"

Emma nodded.

"She and Logan maintain close contact. He was at the wedding," she leaned in," he cried," Both laughed and aww'd.

Silence lapsed not so shortly after.

Ellie started to awkwardly rock both and fourth. Hope tried to ignore this, but could not.

"What are you doing? What is," she mimicked her motions, and waved her arms wildly in the air in exasperation

"What? Oh. I don't know."

The others watched her too.

Ellie, now feeling like she was on display, felt her face turn red and grow warm.

"Are you on a boat?"

"No? "

"Because this," she rocked," is not how it works. You need to be on more boats."

"No boats. Never boats. Because, you're in the ocean and then sharks happen, and you die." Ellie shuddered.

"Only if you're bleeding and why are you so far deep in the ocean to be near sharks?"

"I don't know."

"It's just as well. Captain America wont like you now. He's totally the water sport type."

Ellie pulled a face of disgust.

"I don't like him."

Hope closed her eyes and leaned forward, like in some kind of dream.

"He's so pretty though." She laughed like a song. Ellie shook her head.

"He's blonde though. Blonde men look weird."

"No. Ginger men are weird looking."

"But you have red hair."

"Have dark brown to black and I'm yours."

"And Captain America."

"That stamina though."

The men present coughed nervously.

"Hope, I don't need to hear this." Scott pinched the bridge of nose. Emma giggled.

"Grandma gets it." Hope smiled evilly. Emma stopped laughing. Nate clenched his jaw and wished he hadn't refused the pre game offer.

"You know who is just adorable and is like my business hero/Prince/idol?" Ellie said, almost dream like herself now.

"Anna Maria Mar-"

"Yes."

"So lovely."

"Just want to put her up on a shelf."

"She's the real brains behind PI."

"She and Osborn totally run that."

"Parker is just _there_."

"Pretty sure he's too busy being Spider-Pet."

Ellie nodded.

The others looked over, surprised and confused by this statement.

"Emma, you can read minds, how do you not know this? It's so obvious."

"Spider-Pet? Spider-Man?"

"Dad. Seriously. You were Omega-level god like. The OG Jesus Mutant Messiah."

The older adults looked rather embarrassed and still skeptical.

"I think we just blew up their universe."

"It would make sense, _if_ true." Scott scratched the back of his head.

"Why do you call him that?" Emma frowned.

Nate answered that one.

"Because he's Wade's special favorite crush/toy for the last few years. Pet is disturbingly accurate."

"Mr. Bob is very jealous."

"We should alert the press."

"What?"

"Not about that-about Peter Parker being, you know."

"That's not our decision to make and unfounded."

Silence.

"So, dinner?"

Everyone stood.

Hope led her guests to the table.

"Preston had this wicked baked chicken recipe that I adjusted."

"Very much adjusted." Ellie confirmed.

The table was already set, the food, and plates. Hope waited for everyone to sit before taking her seat.

"This looks lovely." Emma said encouragingly. She looked pointedly at Scott. It took him a moment to catch on.

"Oh. Yes. It looks good."

"Yes." Hope's father said simply. He tapped the meat with his fork.

He could never get the hang of meals that didn't come from insta packets or otherwise similar. Home cooked meals, especially when he was being wooed by a lover, were always far more fascinating than the intention.

Such as now.

He began to build a bunker using the vegetables, rather than eat. Scott watched him with mild amusement.

"You can even eat it too." Hope was not so amused. She wanted people to actually taste the meal she slaved over.

"Nathan." Emma chided. Scott moved closer to Nate. He pointed carefully at the plate.

"That. If you move it there, it will be reinforced." Nate, hesitant and slightly irritated, followed the suggestion. Holla. It paid off. Scott and Nate continued fortifying and expanding the new fort of food.

Hope shook her head in disbelief.

"This is what they bond over?"

"It's a start."

"Boys." Emma sighed.

Ellie took out her phone.

"Tweeting this."

Hope took out hers as well and started to film them.

"Dom will love this."

"Oh!"

Ellie began to film.

"Dad'll love this."

"It tastes good." Emma felt so old. The actual eating of the food had been abandoned by all but Emma at this point.

"And here we are folks. The OG Mutant Messiah and the leader of the X-Men hard at work, keeping the world safe." Hope moved around them, to get a better angle.

"Providence, rising from the crumbs." Ellie added as she stood next to her friend, filming as well.

Scott coughed and stood straighter, trying maintain pride and manly manness.

"Perhaps we should eat now."

Nate pouted like a scolded child.

"Really?"

"Nathan." Scott was serious now. He glared at the girls, who now stopped filming. He took his seat back near Emma.

"You shouldn't play with your food anyway. You're not a child."

Nathan said nothing and destroyed what they had built. He ate in silence.

Trying to keep this positive and not wanting her father to drown in the cold silence, Hope tried to stir conversation,

"Dad, why didn't you invite Uncle Wade?"

She could have sworn he flinched. It happened in such a quick flash, she couldn't be sure.

"I did."

"Oh."

Hope poked her peas.

Ellie cleared her throat.

"I'm sure he'll be here."

Under the table, Ellie texted her Dad.

Ellie frowned at the response

 **I told him I couldn't come the first time he asked, the third time and an hour ago, when he showed up trying to guilt me**. **In case he's wondering, I still can't. My world doesn't revolve around him. You, on the other hand-**

She put her phone away.

"He's sorry, but he's otherwise engaged."

"No loss there." Scott muttered.

"Grandpa." Hope sighed.

"I don't understand why you let him around Hope."

"He cares about her and she loves him." Nate said, sounding so far away.

"And his daughter is in the room. Like, right there, in the room. Hello." Hope waved.

"We don't need this conversation again." Emma reached for Scott's hand.

"This is probably why he didn't come." Hope sighed bitterly.

"Probably." Nate agreed.

"He's not so bad." Ellie said. She hated how everyone treated her father.

"You don't really know him, which is fortunate."

"I know him." Ellie tried to keep the heat from her voice.

"You really don't." Scott didn't keep it from his. Emma picked up her fork and tried to get Scott to keep his mouth distracted.

"He's not a monster. He does good things. He cares about people. He helps people."

"Hey, why do they call it a mace?" Hope poked her father's arm and he raised a brow at her in confusion.

"He also kills people and doesn't hide how much he loves it."

"Once, I got a Christmas present from _Satan_." Hope raised her voice, trying to get the attention moved.

"You'll never let me live that down." Her father said somewhat amused.

"Best spelling error _ever_."

Apparently something absolutely _horrid_ was said while they had this exchange. Ellie stood up with force, her eyes wet and fierce. She stormed out of the apartment in silence.

"Shiitake!" Hope hissed and followed her friend.

"That escalated quickly." Nate deadpanned. Emma said nothing as she stood and left.

Hope returned, sans bestie.

"Well, another successful Summers dinner." Hope pinched the bridge of her nose.

It wasn't long before Scott made his leave. Nate stayed back and helped Hope clean up.

"How's Ells?" He asked as he stacked plates. Hope put her phone away.

"She's safe. At her Dad's. Said she finally stopped crying. Yay." She shook her hands in sarcastic glee.

"Wade's not going to take that well. Shit. He'll go after Scott."

"Yup."

Both had mental images of how that would go. They cringed.

"Ow." They said in unison.

Nate left quickly, cursing his stupidity and fathers.

" _Someone call the ambulance, there's going to an accident._ " Hope sighed.

 **Thirty minutes prior . . .**

Ellie stormed out of the apartment, thundered through the hall, poked the hell out of the elevator button and sulked and scowled until the ride was over.

She burst though the front doors of the building and marched towards her destination. She radiated anger.

Normally, Ellie would knock or announce her presence before she came to this residence, but damn it all to hell in a fast car. She stormed though like she owned the place, pushed her Step-Mother out of the way.

Exhaled deeply.

"Daddy."

And fell into her father's arms.

She cried. She lost control of her body and went limp. Her father was able to hold her up. He was not happy, to put it lightly.

He guided her into a different room and onto something soft and couch like, probably a couch.

And cried some more.

She muttered things like

"I hate Scott Summers."

and

"People suck."

Eventually she cried herself into exhaustion and offered no resistance to the order of staying the night.

She curled up and cursed certain people out quietly and politely.

Her Step-Mother, feeling pity, left her a tea like beverage at the night stand near the bed.

Her father returned to her side, dressed for the kill, kissed the top of the of her head and whispered something fatherly. She liked it.

"I love you." She said before falling asleep.

He liked _that_.

 **Now**

Scott was outside. He was not in a time out. No. He was not being ignored and glared at by his team and the students.

He had not been scolded.

 _"I have no love for the guy, Slim, but even I know you were out of line."_ Logan. Logan of all people _._

 _"Nathan loves Hope and has sacrificed his body and soul to keep the child safe. If he trusts him, know that she will be safe."_ Of course she would say that _._

He.

Dammit.

Perhaps having Ellie in his life _had_ changed him.

He held the bridge of his nose.

He's an ass.

He had to fix this.

Damage control.

First thing tomorrow he'd, he swallowed his pride hard and with difficulty, he would attempt to mend things with girl he had upset.

The air changed. The weight, the feel.

He became alert.

Someone approached him from behind.

He relaxed slightly.

Strong hands massaged his shoulders. He leaned in. Defenses down.

"Emma."

Only it _wasn't._

Oh, boy.

This is going to _hurt_.


End file.
